Literal Thinking Skills

or: Why Scientists are either Amusing or Annoying Depending on your Tastes
I just read a post over at Learning Curves and i thought her rejoinder to the question:

"have you lost weight?"
"i've had a hair cut"

was pretty funny until i wondered whether she was just being polite and wasn't implying that the only weight she had lost was the mass of her hair. I was wondering, what are other piss-take replies could a scientist use? A couple of oldies and a couple that i came up with...

1. No, i gained some height
2. No, the rest of the universe has it somewhere
3. No, i'm just practicing moving slower than normal
4. No, i'm sure i'll find it again when i eat more than i excercise
   
5. No, the moon and planets are specially aligned today
   

Unfortunately, if you're really unlucky, they'll deliver a small lecture on the procedure including, but not limited to, dragging you over to a computer screen so you can see the results laid out in all their digital glory while they rail against all manner of quack therapies and the media in general and scientific illiteracy is why there aren't enough jobs in science so what's the point anyway...